Sunday, April 20, 2014

Mental Resurrection

It's a beautiful Easter morning in Arizona. The Sun is shining, the birds are happy, and I have a headache the size of my ass. Big. Stress, pms, not enough caffeine. I'm trying to diet. I'm trying to be healthy. My body is pissed at me. Even though I'm no where near as heavy or out of shape as I have been in the past, I'm starting to feel my age and the pressures of this past year. We have been through so much, but God has brought us through it all. I used to say this in derby, and it applies to life too: every now and then, you need to get your ass kicked. It makes you see what your weaknesses are so you can strengthen them. It makes you realize how much you can take and still get back up and keep moving.

It's not over. We still have a month long separation, a huge move, and a starting over to go through. Mr Buffy has to be a single dad with a moody 9 year old and I get to be a single mom with a rambunctious 4 year old while living with my in-laws. I'm starting a new job with a mere 3 days to transition. Mr B is quitting his job and has one month to pack an entire apartment by himself.

The rewards will eventually outweigh the stress. We are following the path God has set before us, and he has never led us astray.

Thank you Jesus for this beautiful resurrection day. Thank you for giving up everything for us. Let us live our lives in a way that is pleasing to you. Let us remember that the ass-kickings are making us better.

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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Empathy Overload

Have you ever had someone walk in to your life for a brief amount of time, and completely turn your day upside down? That's what happened to me today. I had one client. Just 60 minutes of time with this woman, and she will never know that as soon as she left, I sobbed like a baby.

I should start by saying that when people come see me to get a massage, often times they tell me things that I don't think they intend on telling me. I end up hearing their life story. My husband says it's because people in uncomfortable situations talk to make things more comfortable. That's why interrogators don't often have to say much to provoke the whole story.  I like to think it's because I have some sort of secret-telling super power.

My client today was a pleasant woman. She was upbeat and happy but I could tell she was in pain. She told me that she had been up late attending her parents 45th wedding anniversary. This led to her expanding on her family, including a brother that had past away many years ago. She told me how hard it is, even now, as she goes through life not to feel the pain of his loss and sadness at the events he is missing.

She made me think about the people who have lost loved ones recently (there have been many). Weeks ago, a few years ago, many years ago, and the pain is the same. She said some days the pain is just as bad as the moment they found out he was gone.

I'm learning something from tragedies like this. I am becoming more concious of how I spend my days, and what  I worry about. I am taking more pictures of my kids. Trying to make as many memories as I can with them. Her story touched me so much.

But she wasn't done.

We started talking about her physical pain. Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, she was scared. The pain is so different. So illogical. I know a bit about this. I have family members, including my husband, who are in constant pain. No one understands them. People don't see a reason for sufferers to be in pain so they think they are hypochondriacs or drug seekers. Sufferers of chronic pain don't want this life. It can lead to depression and despair. It can lead to resentment from spouses. It can lead to missing major events in their families' lives.

I listened to her speak and and ached for her. She has a long, hard road ahead. Because it's not just the pain. It's the impact that the pain has on your life. I can relate. I know all about this. I hate it. It's not fair.

So when she walked out the door, relaxed and loosened up and with words of encouragement from me, I felt over loaded. Emotionally exhausted.

Not only did I get a lesson from her about making time with my family count, but she reminded me that everyone struggles. I will try not to get so stressed out with my kids for being kids, and upset with my husband for something he can't control.

She was a reminder from a higher power today.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Trimming The Fat

2012 is going to be my year to trim the fat out of my life. I'm not talking about shedding my 40 plus unwanted pounds (although that would be nice); I'm talking about the excess that has consumed my family until I feel like we are drowning in it.

Stuff, toys, papers, electronics, clothes, activities, TV shows, internet use, phone use, fast food. I feel like we are bombarded with images and ads and everything is so frantic and stressful.

My goal for this year is to make things more simple. Throw things away. Purge our lives of the heaviness.

Wish me luck.

Monday, October 31, 2011

My Spooky Halloween Story

A little background: I love paranormal stuff. TV shows, novels, ghost stories, etc. BUT I am and have always been a skeptic. I always try to look for the logical explanation....after I get excited and freak out. About a month or so ago, Buffy III started acting strange when she was in her crib. She would point to the ceiling and say,
See dat baby?Dat baby right dere!
Of course, I have never seen the baby but she talks about him often. She calls him "Goby Joe".
When I Googled "Goby Joe", this is what I got.

Recently, some odd things have been happening: weird noises, things falling, seeing things out of the corner of our eye, and Mr Buffy and I like to joke that it must be Goby Joe. In fact, just last night I was saying how every time I sit on the couch and watch TV, I will catch something moving out of the corner of my eye in the bathroom. Mr Buffy confessed to seeing things too, but we decided that it is probably the reflection of he window in the bathroom mirror.


Then today while I was frosting the cupcakes I had made for Buffy Jr's school Halloween party, I felt something behind me. I assumed it was my husband, and then I felt a tug on the hood of my sweatshirt. I turned around to see what he wanted. Nobody was there. I immediately got hot and started sweating. I found Mr Buffy and Buffy III sitting in the living room watching Dora. EEEEPPPPP!!!!
After I freaked out, I realized that my hood probably just got caught on the back of my sweatshirt somehow, but couldn't help but ask "Goby Joe? Is that you???"

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Hit Maker

My sweet little hellcat, Buffy Jr, has just written her 3rd hit* song. It's a breathy, Janet Jackson-esque dance tune with very interesting lyrics:

I don't have to
I don't want to
It's a fallacy

I'm cool
I'm awesome
It's plain to see

Poof you here
Poof you there
It's goin' down...

Can't you just see Janet Jackson a la Rhythm Nation dancing around and singing this?

 Buffy Jr started writing songs at the tender age of 3. Her first was this sweet little number, written while she was sitting on the potty:

   Sometimes, I cry
and I don't know why.
Maybe, I'm sad
or maybe I'm mad

But then my mama
gives me a hug
and then I don't feel so bad.....anymore.

Introspective at age 3

She has also written a death metal song that I "forgot" to write down. It was full of appropriately dark and angsty lyrics. And when I say "appropriately" I mean appropriate for the genre, not appropriate for a sunny six year old.

Who me?

Buffy Jr isn't just a singer/song writer though, she also is a rapper. Most people who have met her have heard her 90's rap version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", complete with a Vanilla Ice style "boyeeeeeee!" at the end. 

She has always been creative musically and while most of her songs make no sense whatsoever, every now and then I am blown away by what comes out of her mouth. Where does she come up with the melodies? What is she basing her lyrics on? And more importantly, how the hell does she know what the word fallacy** means? 

*the term hit meaning I wrote it down

**for the record, I think "fallacy" was a total fluke. She probably has never even heard the word, much less knows the definition.

The future of music

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Rest in Peace

Please join me in remembering the short life of 22 lovingly baked confetti cupcakes that were to be eaten at my precious daughter's 2nd birthday party.
The cupcakes, complete with Dora the Explorer wrappers, were brutally murder while sitting innocently on my kitchen counter, waiting to be frosted this morning.

Two suspects have been named in the tragedy. A 1 1/2 year old Australian shepherd mix named Boss and a 7 year old Rat Terrier named Bradley are being held for questioning. It is thought that while Boss is the one who reached up on the counter and pulled down the cupcakes (they were sitting on a cup towel), Bradley has been named an acomplice.

Here is a photo of the suspects:

Not a trace of the cupcakes have been found but investigators have said they will be combing the back yard in the next couple of days, looking for evidence.

Update: The body of one of the cupcakes was recovered in the laundry room. Although intact, it could not be saved. It was covered in dog hair and slobber.
The family will proceed with the party as planned. They were quoted as saying "We feel that's what the cupcakes would have wanted."

A friend of the family, killberry, has created this touching eulogy. Never forget.

Though I walk through the valley of the baking confections, I shall fear no canine, for Tupperware art with me. Its locking lid and cupcake-slots, keep me in place.
You were grown in the Earth and to the Earth you shall return. Let us not mourn the loss of these tasty morsels, but rejoice in the fond memories of them once being with us.
Rest well confetti treats, your sacrifice will not be forgotten. The icing will go on to frost another, but you will always remain a short part of its existence.